my journal is gonna be deleted;
if you wanna follow me;
dekiainosuisou

Calm down shana, it's really NOT worth it;
All I did was walk out of the computer room and go and get some tea
and what do I hear ?
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING , SHANA?!"
"ALWAYS EATING! HAVE YOU NOTHING BETTER TO DO" (and case point I was not getting any food ._.)
" GO GET OFFLINE SO YOUR FATHER CAN CALL ME INCASE HE WANTS ME TO BE OUTSIDE SO WE CAN GO GET CIGARETTES!" (wasnt even on the internet)
me: "WELL if you know he wants you to stand outside to go get CIGARETTES (which supposedly quit) then go stand outside."
"SHANA YOU GET THE FUCK OFF THAT GODDAMN INTERNET OR I'LL UNPLUG IT!"
then I just shut the goddamn door and cranked up the kagrra, which inturn made her yell louder.
whatever I'm done trying to be nice... civil, even.

GATORS WON
YEAH BABEH WEWTNESS!!! AND WHAT, BITCHES :D GOOOOO FLORIDA!

I don't even want to write about my life right now.
I dont know if I'll write anymore for anything anymore.
I read this somewhere but am keeping the person anonymous.
"I noticed, but that's also probably Shin is not written about often so they NEED to have THE uke in a band *Rolls eyes*
Have you noticed the sudden influx of shitty Kagrre fics around this place?! I have honestly dropped them after the first one or two lines -___-"
Is that the fucking case? first people whine that there arent any fics then they say "this shit fucking sucks"
._.

Today I was gonna call the job corps; but I got scared and did'nt
But then at dinner 2 sheriffs from the other county came banging on the door.
Looking for elizabeth. ._. So it ensues.

When deane came over i was sleeping;
I gots woken up and we opened presents she had brought;
Mom had a fucking mountain around her;
Doug was buried in presents;
Liz had a bunch of shit, as did chuck.
I had 3 boxes.
1 Jacket (ugly ._.)
1 skirt (it's the wrong cut and it's too short)
1 shirt (wrong color, it's a burnt orange)
I was counting on her to give me some money,
cause she is always "i hid some in your present"
but no!
._. so that means no kagrra, cd-
no piercing
no nothing
._.

Tried the mp3 player; on 3 different computers;
it's a no go
it doesnt work
both mom and chuck said
"if anyone does'nt want their present, give it back"
so I did and NOW they are pissy.

-Some Pomegranate Tea
- Some Soap
- Kitty Plushie
- 2 hand fans
- a 500 mb mp3 player.

Mom got a 500$ blender.

today I wake up and the first thing I hear is
"Fuck both of those kids, shana and liz"
._. what a WONDERFUL THING TO WAKE UP TO, NE?!
Then mom atleast says something in my favor
"Mah, Atleast Shana is intelligent"
._. GREAT.

"Shana you presents aren't hmm.."
"Expensive"
._.
RIGHT my presents aren't expensive
you get me CANDY
and I give you manga books and X japan dvds that I got as gifts that i'm willing to give YOU.
THAT YOU HAVE...
You fucking spoiled rich ass bitch!
When you're poor, maybe you fucking understand;
just because I can't go out and "buy" you something;
I give you something I KNOW you want and then you tell me you DONT want it... what a fucking cunt.
I'm not like you;
I'm not able to live in a nice big house
i'm not able to get fucking 25$ allowance every week;
My parents did'nt get for and buy me a cell phone
i'm not the one going off to college.
I'm the one stuck in my little dirty trailer;
Probably going to work a fucking minimum wage job for the rest of my life;
Your parents pay for everything for you; and yet you play it off as though
"Oh yeah I got bills"
BITCH PLEASE
when you are out on your own, and your parents are dead THEN you can say you have bills you spoiled brat.
Fuck you
and the dog shit you slid in on.
just FUCK YOU
No wonder...
NO WONDER.

Kagerou and La cryma christi will be disbanding in January 2007.
even though i'm not a huge fan of dir en grey i found their concert listing for 2007

Feb. 1 @ Revolution (Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Feb. 2 @ HOB (Lake Buena Vista, FL)
Feb. 3 @ Roxy Theatre (Atlanta, GA)
Feb. 5 @ Ram's Head Live (Baltimore, MD)
Feb. 6 @ Theatre of Living Arts (Philadelphia, PA)
Feb. 7 @ Avalon Ballroom (Boston, MA)
Feb. 9 @ Guvernment (Toronto, ON)
Feb. 10 @ Nokia Theatre (New York, NY)
Feb. 12 @ St. Andrews Hall (Detroit, MI)
Feb. 13 @ HOB (Chicago, IL)
Feb. 14 @ Fine Line Music Club (Minneapolis, MN)
Feb. 16 @ Gothic Theatre (Englewood, CO)
Feb. 18 @ Meridian (Houston, TX)
Feb. 19 @ Palladium Ballroom (Dallas, TX)
Feb. 21 @ Marquee Theatre (Tempe, AZ)
Feb. 23 @ The Wiltern Theatre (Los Angeles, CA)

I tried to do other people but it would'nt let me; it froze on carisma_sensei ._.
BUT THE SHANA IS BACK IN ACTION CAUSE
she needs to write some happy stuff to cheer her up ._.

SO ja @.@
where to begin? the other day.. Lizbeth went into the hospital on Tues evening.
Doug is really a rare guy. He would'nt leave because he wanted to be there not to miss anything.
I finally convinced him that the babeh would'nt pop out that quick.
So we ended up staying the night in the hospital, but I couldn't sleep cause the chairs were hard and the floor was cold and no blankie ._.
So I lay on the floor trying to rest, and the next thing I know a doctor comes in at 6am in the morning to break liz's water. and since I was on the floor I felt and heard everything. Liz's crying and yelling, and hearing the water break made me hurl. Doug turned a grey color ._. It's the most sickening sound that one could hear. So after that we stayed with her and monitored her contractions. They never got above 75 on the scale and the nurse kept saying that she had to get above 90 to be ready. So they made her stay in labor for 12 hours; and A doctor came in at about 5:15pm and said "OH yeah, she's beyond ready." But lizbeth gave the nurse such a tough time and she would'nt breathe, so they took her into the back, because she had almost caused the babeh to be born dead because of lack of oxygen or something. *sigh* anyway, Liz was overly hysterical; She had him at 5:59 pm on December the 13th, He is 18inches long and 6.3 ounces (I myself was 21 and a half inches long and 7 pounds) I stayed at the hospital until 9.30pm on wensday. @.@ got home at around 10pm and went to sleep at 11pm.

So today mom comes home with a 'small' full sized bed. she's like "ARENT YOU HAPPY ? :D"
I'm like "._. yeah, i'm estatic"
fucking bed is goddamn hard.
but she cleaned my room and not I atleast have a bed, ne?

homgz been up for over 48 hours, at the hospital with liz. she had her babeh. i will elaborate later, holy shit i'm tired.

called every dentist about wens. couldnt find any that would take medicaid that could take me in until feb. pissed me off half of my tongue is numb and my mouth hurts... liz is going to have the babeh any day now. another damn december babeh. goddamnt my mouth hurts @,@ *cries*

( posted nehind here for your protection )

recently I found these in another person's blog.

http://www.myspace.com/kagrraofficial
http://www.myspace.com/thegazetteofficial
http://www.myspace.com/alicenineofficial

If you have been living under a rock lately, PS Company has made accounts for its artists on MySpace.com

the world has come to an end.

Oke, first off, a meme I stole from carisma_sensei

( MeME )

So here's my life. remember how i said i was going to put up more pictures? well, i was UNTIL i found out that Liz has'nt been paying on her computer, which she Illegally got. I won't say how but let's just put it this way, she could go to jail, regardless that she's pregnant. Let's also say this - if she DOES get charges pressed against her, it would be a FEDERAL offense.  and guess what's up there?! EVERYTHING OF MINE~ Kagrra no su, Music,photos EVERYTHING! now you're wondering why I have my shit on her computer? let me tell you why. my computer is a 96' model. barely runs windows 98 and has problems when I have more than one program running. So basically my computer is SHIT. so ._. that's one thing i'm worried about.

Then i'm also worried about getting people the shit they need for xmas. yeah, you heard me.NEED it was said to me the other day that "It's a damn shame you were brought up in such a practical family." replace "practical" with "poor" and he would have it right. I mean look, for my 18th birthday I got fucking BODYWASH. you see what i'm saying?! But i'll complain about my mistreatment later. Not to mention I have NO job, can't seem to GET a fucking job. Even with 'normal' hair. even with blonde hair I can't even get a fucking job! So not only do I have to 'pimp' my blood to buy needs, I also have to deal with No transportation and No job. *sigh*

And now there's no telling on whether or not I'll get that fucking mp3 player I want. My parents even refuse to buy me a bed that I want. But when it comes to them it's always what they want. I asked mom about buying me a bed once and she was like 'No I want my living room set first' living room set : Couch/loveseat and things for the living room. Another example of it's what 'they' want. They bug my half sister to buy me a bed when she's got a baby on the way. My 'family' is superbly defucked, ok? I don't even want to start on the liz subject. Also I bugged and bugged mom to get me this pomerainian(sp?) puppy for the looongest time. She comes home today and says she got herself a puppy. a cute mutt puppy (which if I had a camera I would show you, but ._.) Which has still yet to be named.

Needless, it's "whenever I can" now.

Oh, and Aya! lemme know whether or not you still want a xmas card or not :D

-Here are 2 pics ._. my computer shit on me, so more later.